Today I went running. It was beautiful outside. It is beautiful outside. At mile three I realized that I had no memory of most of mile 1 and none of mile 2. No idea. I didn’t remember the hill that I dread or the boring cul de sac where I usually entertain myself with thoughts of what I would plant if I lived in one of those houses. Nothing. And that is the best feeling ever. Lost. No thoughts. That’s how I feel when I am painting. Just lost in my work. I love it. I know I left my baseball hat on a tree stump because I was hot and I know the breeze blowing in my face felt really great…but hum…nothing else. I think there is a name for that. Moving meditation? That is why I run, to meditate, to clear my thoughts. Usually I run really well when I am pissed off about something, but when I run and loose track of time, that is what it’s all about. I don’t care about my time or speed… only about the get away.
A couple of weekends ago I had a medical legal job, a rush job and then my kids got sick and time escaped. Not in the good way, a really frustrating way. So today they are with their dad and I got to go running and put my head back into working. All the things I want to create, jewelry, paintings, etc. All of the stuff brewing in my head that had to be pushed back in order to “hold down the fort”, now I can allow it to come back. I am learning that I have to let it bubble back up slowly or I get super frustrated that I can’t do it all at once. So here I go.
And here is the legal job I finished.